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Monday, August 17, 2009
Miranda,
I thought you said you were going to mail me back my keys.
Because you have not responded, I am going to be honest with you and not hold back. You may think of me as a "bitch" from now on, like your female roommate before me, and that's fine.
You taught me a lesson. I will never give someone a break just because I think I'm being empathetic or sympathetic, like I was with you and the rent leeway. I should have asked for a deposit, and had you not had it, NO DICE.
To be honest, I feel like you took advantage of me and fucked me over.
Deposit would have been really important because you played dumb when I said you didn't clean your rooms. You know you didn't clean anything.
Cleaning those rooms, as in sweeping and vacuuming and at least TRYING to remove that piss or shit stain, whatever the hell that is in what was your bedroom would have been the LEAST you could have done, considering I never asked you for a deposit.
Never use me as a reference because I will only tell the truth.
Goodbye.
...
Speaking of roommates, my roommate before THAT is ready to be friends again, and I think I am too. We have yet to hang out again but I'm very curious to find out what the hell happened with her and everybody's favorite sinking dreamboat. I hate guys like that. I hope I remember that for the future.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I was planning on writing something real tonight, you know, like "for myself" which means put into an ambitious pile of "maybe someday I'll edit this a dozen times and eventually submit it to some kind of publication."
I'm rusty on writing so I'm going to use this as a warm-up and hope I don't come off too sappy or bummed out to the point where it becomes a repellent. I just feel like sharing. And I'm going to keep it public to ensure that I'm more driven to stay upbeat and not come off with that said repellent.
Okay.
A few weeks ago there were three consecutive days of serious tragedy.
Tuesday, July 21st.
Two kids I went to high school with, JG being the one I knew personally, though admittedly hadn't spoken to, or even thought about since high school, were murdered tragically, being the first people I've ever known to die at the will of another person. And over such an unnecessary reason. I'm getting around to writing Congress about the legalization of marijuana. They didn't die because of weed, they died because of money, and fuck that little psychopath who did that. May he live on this earth in his remaining years as though it were hell.
Wednesday, July 22nd.
Gloria, my mom's BFF, sister from a different mister, also my godmother, died. I'd literally known her my entire life. She was one of the nurses at old Jefferson Davis Hospital when I was born. (Gloria and my mom became fast friends soon after.)
Every Halloween my mom, without fail a gypsy, and Gloria, wearing a new scary mask every year, would get pretty toasted. Mom would make Halloweenies. Gloria would make Devil Eggs. I would be cursing their sensitivity and wishing I could just go out with my friends, dressed in anything but black and orange.
Every winter season Gloria and her daughter, and my mom and her mother and me would all get together and make pierogies, a Polish Christmas tradition, like Mexicans make tamales.
Point I'm trying to make is she was really quite close, more than just "pretty much" family.
She had been living with HIV for more than 24 years and the past few years, incidentally had been extremely painful as a side affect. She drove into Buffalo Bayou at 5:30am and died, before the downtown workers started filtering in.
Thursday, July 23rd.
Two very young men that while I did not know personally, were separated by slim degrees of separation. In reading about them, and maybe it was my sensitive stage but I could not help but to cry for them also.
It was these two brothers who went to Rice, the younger one moved to be closer to his older one because they were so close. Really smart, really ambitious guys and their dog... driving from Houston to their folks' home in Virginia. They were almost home, an hour away maybe when they were in a horrible accident essentially sandwiching their car between two tractor trailers. There was an explosion. Apparently the car, and what was inside was said to be unidentifiable after what the fire did to them.
Gloria's memorial was Friday, July 24th and soon before making my way to the Chapel of St. Basil at St. Thomas where Gloria was an active chapel guild member, my roommate told me, 'I know you asked that I give you two weeks if I ever decide to move out, but..... this is one. I can't afford August. Also, after I move out all my shit, I promise not to clean it up, and I'll EVEN leave my dirty ass litter box from my shitty ass cat that YOU can clean up!'
So I'm kind of poor these days.
Luckily, found a nice girl who will move in before September. Hopefully she's a craigslist success story instead of a horror story, but you know what? I actually have a good feeling about her.
I have three classes this fall and I'll finally have my bullshit liberal arts degree from UH. Just kidding, it's not bullshit, it's real. I'm going to jump on the fulltime boat at work in September so hopefully I'll be really busy this fall and my summertime blues will disappear into thin air.
I don't have a lot of money right now, and I spend a lot of time at home alone watching movies, but I'm okay. Don't even worry about me. I'll tell you why, it's because I'm on my UPswing. Sincerely.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
My roommate's out of town for the weekend and that's great, because I like to be alone in the house.
I've had friends move away from Houston indefinitely this past month and that slims down my social network of people I genuinely like. A lot of people are coincidentally out of town. Last night to nail the hammer in, I went to the liquor store and then the video store. Came home, put on shorts, and cooked my roommate's food (I'll hit her back, I'm good for it). Watched a triple feature. (Saturday Morning, How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, and Margot at the Wedding)
Ate my cooked dinner. In my bed. Smoked cigarettes. In my room.
It kind of sounds like I'm in a funk, and I guess I kind of am, as much as one is expected to be in this horrible summer heat. On the other hand, it's really nice to spend more time alone. That said, I'm kind of lonely. In a good way. It isn't fair to say, "I'm ready to start being in a relationship again" if you aren't really dating anyone. Maybe that last stuff doesn't make sense.
I know there have been situations and people in my life where I feel like I can really cliche clash connect and get, when the intuition argument is hard to argue against.
Ugh, was trying not to sound depressed and sappy, cos I'm not, but it sure sounds like it.
Tonight will be a follow up from last night, except instead of a triple feature, hopefully I'll do miscellaneous cleaning and organizing and end up drunk and writing (not here).
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
9am: wake up and want to go back to sleep
can't.
9:30am: most recent exroommate calls for last month's bills. 'Okay, come over.'
10am: she comes over. We talk for about 15 minutes and then she leaves to go buy groceries with this great money so I go to work.
11am: I'm sort of stressed about money and am having a hard time writing copy. No! Keep going.
12pm: decent time to eat that frozen lunch.
3pm: can't stand it anymore. Leaving early. 'I'm probably going to Portland tomorrow. I'll let you know.'
3:30pm: get a call from most recent ex landlord ready to write checks for deposit. 'Meet you at 6:30'
4pm: get a text from Mo saying the memorial for Lukas's parents is at 5
4:10pm: 'Can we meet for the deposit sooner than 6:30? Yes?'
5:10pm: Lukas's parents memorial, two people I vaguely remember meeting maybe five years ago but whose legacy brings me to tears.
6:10pm: Think about calling my dinner plan to cancel but instead deliver deposit money to exroommate's mailbox to kill time because I know I'm going to want a distraction. Don't cancel dinner.
10pm: come home sober, a completely refreshing feeling with an edge of positivity and excitement in the air.
10:05pm: see how disgusting the kitchen is, thanks to roommate. I'm not in a mood to hate it so I clean it for her, leaving a note that has an ink drawing of me winking saying "you can clean after me someday then"
11pm: checking flights to go to Portland. Not looking good.
whatever time it is now: I don't care anymore.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Aside from future promotion and new projects and the good things that come from work, and the mediocre grades but at least I'm almost done and maybe, just maybe with my resume I'll still be able to go to grad school education situation, and my new amazing house and most things just going generally well.... actually. No, everything is just.. really good right now.
To add, my exroommate and I finally hung out and guess what! It was really good. There are things we don't agree on and may never really see eye to eye on but truth be told, some people are just better as friends, and that's the end of it. If you're really good, you stay friends after. Now let's politely forget anything negative I may have ever said about her. I'm over it.
New roommate is coming in next week.
Her name is Miranda, she has a masters in piano, and she's moving from her soon-to-be-exboyfriend's apartment to this getaway.
We'll see how it goes. We'll do a reevaluation in three-six months. This is MY House.
Monday, May 4, 2009
My roommate...
.Is not allergic to cats and does not hate cats. (Actually, I've converted cat haters, so bring it on.)
.Does not leave food in the kitchen. (We are in Houston. River Oaks houses even get roaches. Don't attract!@#)
.Is financially stable. (I have never been unemployed for over a month. I have an agist paranoia and a young-wise inferiority complex, but since the age of 16 I've never been unemployed for over a month [and I was in Europe for half of it]. This includes being a full time student for the past four years!!! I am 22.)
.Is a hardworker. (It is important that my future roommate have a sociological concept of contribution, even if not realized, regarding this home, their life, my life and this world.)
.Does at least 1/4 of house keeping. (taking trash out, taking garbage can to street, RECYCLING, dishwasher, cleaning kitchen, sweeping, bathroom [not my cats, they are my cats, I KNOW this]//I am sick of doing all of the chores!)
.Is preferably not a student. (Please no offense but students are likely to have one or more of the following faults; sheltered personality, living on folks' money, unable to comprehend the benefits of sanitation, too loud/too quiet, possessing a greater invincibility complex than I have, too much drama)
.May be a platonic man or mature woman. (When I tell the dude to clean up after himself, he says, 'Okay', and does. When I tell a lady, they sometimes get back at me with defensiveness.)
.Needs to understand that I am BAD in the morning. DO NOT come to me for a friendly ear before 11am. (I'm likely to be up late, but I'm not necessarily loud. I do sleep in, though.)
Fantasy roommate...
.Likes/at least appreciates classical, free improv and electronic music.
.Is down to go to the Shakespeare festival with me.
.Does not necessarily have to share friends with me but can get down and talk when our friends aren't around.
.Is 4/20 friendly.
.Is not sober.
.Knows when to leave me alone through a psychic connection.
So it looks like I'm going to be living alone for a while...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
muahaha everyone's getting one.
They are the shit.
Follow me @elsoba
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I think I'm going to start making entries [that matter] friends-only. I promised myself I'd never do that but, I'm getting too famous. Just kidding. I'm just getting paranoid and there are too many ways of tracking me down and the whole thing with the law and blahblahblah.
...
As y2k and outdated as LJ is, I'm a huge fan of it so I encourage folks who don't have one to sign up.
Monday, March 2, 2009
I'm sooooooo sleepy and I have sooooooo much work to doo. ):):):):
There are also OTHER reasons it sucks but I don't feel like getting into it. Not now, anyhow, even if you were a brown cow. I feel kind of crazy.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
11:34PM
So should I nuke my facebook or WHAT!
At the station we have a special folder for folks whose messages come in, well, a little off. Some are right-wingers who insist that we're liberal devils, other folks are just plain bonkers. We call it "The Crazy Box". Here's a taste:
( A Leason in Church Ethics )
( Classic )
( I hate music )
( fuddy duddy )
( Read more )
( Finale: )
That's it. Been wanting to share.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I'm so excited for next weekend! Hannah is about to move to Alaska or something like that and in the years that she's lived in Philadelphia, I've never had the chance to visit. Always said I would so here it goes.
It's in the lower 30s and her house is throwing a big party Saturday night. Though she lives in South Philly, I'm hoping to get to go to North Philly and get a feel for Temple U, a potential grad school option if Philly doesn't totally blow. I'm kind of thinking it's going to be the shit. Vegan Philly Cheesesteaks, Always Sunny, comedians that don't know me, and OH YEAH, Terri Gross.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Aries the cool RAm They are the most best and all cool and stuff like that YA!I
And it's true!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
There's something I'm not doing right, obviously. Time to start doing something differently than whatever it is that I've been doing. I love my friends but I need more; friends who are different than the ones I already have.
Monday, February 2, 2009
If anyone is interested in how ridiculous/wild and crazed/stupid people can get in celebration of winning the super bowl... check this duderoo's twitter: http://twitter.com/infernoenigma
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) onebluesail, by the way, how was your evening?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
You were right. Karma plays hard ball.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Open Mic comedy is fun for me. It's a safe space. It's a relief from the week. I'm into going places alone, no joke, especially shows that aren't totally about fraternizing with lame ass drunks. Classical and jazz concerts, plays, films are easiest. Open Mic was a little intimidating at first until I realized that most people go alone and that made me feel comfortable. And then I started meeting the comedians, mostly 20 something men and they're all extremely encouraging and I never even really wanted to go up in the first place. The more I thought about it though, going up seems like a great way to lose inhibitions, and if I can tell bad jokes to a crowd of drunks then I could work my way up to articulating myself on something more meaningful (to me) to literary jerks or something. Present concerts. I don't know. Announce. I don't know where I'm going with this...
Something about being a social person, especially with friends of friends, shit, I'll throw down. And the comedy scene is a place I feel like I came into on my own. Cos I went alone. And I found my own friends. And obnoxious sure, pretentious? Absolutely not.
(By the way, Houston has a super decent thing going for it. We've got Bill Hicks, Brett Butler, Lewis Black supposedly got fed up with Alley Theatre and started letting off steam at Laff Stop. Place has some roots and it's novel for that.)
But last night I fucked up. I was going every week for months and then stopped for a while and last night was my first night back and I ended up going on this wild and crazy improv date with one of my favorite comics that involved singing Rick Astley at karaoke and playing pin ball and a promise to go to a classical concert but I don't think I can handle it. Also I feel like I can't go back...? Is that ridiculous? FUDGE!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Last night was Jost's last night. I ditched April who wanted to go dancing but at least will not be going back to Zacatecas until Wednesday. I also failed to go to Liam's day party, but I didn't have my car anyway. Plus the fact that I don't really know any of his friends except for Oliver and I don't feel like being in an apartment with bike kids, strangerers and my craziest exboyfriend ever and his lady. Don't mishear me. I absolutely forgive him for picking me up by my throat and I even forgive myself for foolishly giving into his ridiculousness for way too many years. I hope everyone can put the past behind me. That being said, I guess I could have just gone. Whatever. Next time?
To back up, the reason I didn't have my car was because there was something up with the brakes and every time I was at stop signs and red lights the pedal would slip and it made a noise that made me not want to drive ever. Incidentally Chris works at a Mazda dealership and lucky for me, I drive a Mazda 3 so I had asked him Friday if he'd take my car on Saturday. He said of course, of course but that I'd have to drop it off and could I get a ride home because he needed to go to sleep. This was fine because I was hanging out with Emma and I live with her. Except we went out first. We went to notsuoH where some 22 year old suburbia dwellers played decent shit with trumpets. We didn't have to pay the cover because Emma was in prowl mode and charmed the door guy. I was so over notsuoH pretty much as soon as we got there but was into going to La Carafe, the oldest bar in Houston that's also haunted and also just really fuckin' charming. So we went.
As I mentioned, Emma had it going on for a reason. As Chris said, "Ladies have it really easy. You can literally wake up one day, say hey, I want a boyfriend! And go out and get one." It's a little more difficult than that, but... yeah. That's basically it. Being unconventionally attractive with biting wit helps. So she starts mackin' on the bartender with a mustache. Personally, I didn't see it but you know, to each her own. We're actually a trio, Emma, her quirky alcoholic lady friend, Sara Franco and myself. Sara is essentially one of those friends whom you don't know so well, and doesn't know any of your friends but you know you like her. We did well. We closed down the bar. Ended up staying until fuckin' 4am with the bartenders who were dead set on playing catch up. At one point I realize how fuckin' late it is and if I wait any longer, Chris will have left for work so I peel Emma away and say hey, I have to get my car and take it to Chris's. I told Emma she could stay and I'd get a cab but she's a gentle lady and did what she promised to do four hours ago. In bed by 5. Hard night to top.
But I did! THE NEXT DAY... which is yesterday Chris brings me my car back and I buy him a couple six packs and a bottle of champagne for fixing my car for practically nothing (woulda cost hundreds). Got so drunk hangin' with the crew, Mo, Lambeth, Laura, Jost, Lucy, eventually Liz Rosenmountain and some other folks I can't remember. I couldn't have had more than eight beers but I was out. Fell asleep in Chris's bed with a bunch of other people sitting on it and hangin' out loudy rowdy. I wake up and it's 6 a.m. Woke up Chris and we drank that bottle of champagne and watched the sunrise.
Outside of fucking up, waking up two hours after I should have been at work it was a good day. I told Eric, the announcer I was working with, "Listen, you're fantastic for dealing with this hiccup. I make mistakes, big ones sometimes but what can you do but just own up and show up?"
It's like that summer when I was 15 and volunteering at MECA with the little kids summer art camp and I fell asleep on them. Not literally, just.. on the desk with my head down Got in a bit of trouble.. Because I was volunteering my choices were to either quit going or say, fuck the world, I'm a fuck up, I'm sorry, why don't you give me another chance?
That is, I think, the most admirable quality about myself. Sometimes I like myself. Let me have it.
By the by, no I am not married to Andrew Wyatt. We dated... for a week. I was in a vulnerable state and he was there for me in a great way. I told him I need to be alone but that we can get married on facebook if it would make him feel better, but I don't want to even be pretend married.
Signing out,
Liz "the Lone Wolf" Soba
Current music: El Ten Eleven- I like Van Halen because my sister says they are cool
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I want to let you guys know what's going on but I can't quite yet. Too busy. I want school to be over and I want these guys to go away. Do I have a sign around my neck that says "relationship, please?" No! It's a button that says "NO RELATIONSHIPS". At least I have an attorney now and he's supposed to perform a magic trick for me. He'd better, anyway.
Past couple of years I've felt like I'm waiting for something that's coming just around the corner. Wait for the semester to end. The boyfriend. The job. The living situation. Need to learn how to live in the now.
Current music: Jets to Brazil - Chinatown
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